What Can You Do To Help Your Teen Feel Comfortable In Their Own Skin?
The terminology "self-regulation" suggests that individuals are supposed to be able to regulate their thoughts, emotions, and actions independently. However, human beings are social creatures, and we need interdependence. Each of us experiences times in our lives when we feel on top of things, and times when we need help from supportive friends, family, or colleagues. It is important to let our children know it is typical to go through periods of time when we may feel awkward, uncomfortable, and unsure. This will pass, and we emerge stronger and more confident when it does. To make the time spent in this transition easier, we can rely on each other for support.
Here are some practical suggestions to help your child feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Find out what their interests are. You can do this by talking with them, by filling out an interest checklist with them, or by inviting them to join you in a variety of activities available in your community. Some teens may not know what their interests are, and that is okay because adolescence is the perfect time to explore potential new interests. We may only realize we like something once we try it for a while.
Start conversations with your teen by asking open-ended questions about a topic they are really interested in. Show them you are excited to see them light up when they talk about their interest. Be flexible yourself, and spend time doing that activity together, even if it is outside your comfort zone. This is about connecting with them where they are at, without any hidden agenda to coerce them into a topic you are more interested in.
Ask for their input and ideas about current events, books, movies, games, sports, or culture. It is not necessary that they hold the same view you do. Instead, respect where they are coming from without pushing your agenda.
Expose them to mindful, balanced living. Incorporate mindfulness activities into the daily routine. Invite them to get outside in nature and breathe fresh air while getting Vitamin D from the sun. Even a 15-minute walk around the block can do wonders.
Include them in physical activity on a daily basis, whether that is shooting some hoops, doing yoga, playing pickleball, or going for a hike. Building the habit of some form of daily physical release can have a positive effect on decreasing stress hormones.
Strike a balance between alone time and social interaction. One way to do this is to have a family schedule posted. Include things on the schedule, like game night, yard work and gardening, biking, hiking, cooking together, music, arts and crafts, and movie night.
Notice their strengths and let them know what you appreciate about them.
When your teenager feels safe, respected, and appreciated, they are more likely to share with you what they are struggling with, whether that is fear, anxiety, insecurity, or the deeper stuff like hopelessness, apathy, or invasive negative thoughts. Reassure your child that you care, and will be there for them every step of the way.
