A Guide to Kid Chores
When you’re an adult, chores are just part of the day, and we hardly give common tasks much thought; we do them automatically as needed because they won’t get done if we don't. Yet our kids have to build up those mental muscles to do chores, and simply, if they don’t do them, well, the parents will. It’s our job to introduce chores to them at a reasonable and responsible pace. Our long-term goal is to guide our children toward becoming independent and responsible adults, move out of the house, and give us grandchildren “when we’re ready for them.” The burning question often is, "What's the ideal number of chores, and how do we start?" Sure, kids are unique snowflakes with their “own” timetables, but we can at least help them develop some real-world skills that lead to responsibility.
A Chore Chart Tailored by Age
A chore chart that evolves with your child could look something like this.
Toddlers (Ages 2-3): The First Steps in Helping
Toy Pickup: Encourage putting toys back in their places. Turning it into a game can make it enjoyable. Front-loading this with an agreement that toy cleanup is part of the toy playing before the playing even starts.
Clothes Gathering: Help with collecting dirty clothes or choosing pajamas. Back in the day, I would let the little ones use the laundry basket as target practice and hold it up for them at different levels to make it more challenging.
Laundry Sorting: They can assist in sorting laundry by colors or types, making it a playful learning activity. If you start young enough, kids actually enjoy folding clothes and feeling the warm clothes on their bodies as they fold them to put away. Expect some wrinkled clothes if this activity is a staple in your house.
Young Helpers (Ages 4-6): Learning Responsibility
Setting the Table: Begin by having them place a plate and utensils for each family member. Perfection is not the goal, but safety is, so watch those sharp objects as they carry them.
Pet Care Buddy: Have them help care for the family pet, feeding or topping up their water bowl with supervision. If you have cats, let them (the kids, not the cats) try the litter box duty. It’s the ultimate buried treasure hunt, but don’t confuse this activity with a sensory bin; it’s a different thing entirely.
Watering Plants: A small watering can for watering houseplants teaches them about nurturing life.
Independent Learners (Ages 7-9): Upping the Ante
Meal Prep Helper: Get involved in washing fruits and veggies or mixing ingredients under watchful eyes.
Mail Collector: Task them with bringing in the mail or helping to differentiate between junk and important mail. Yes, those tax audits and jury duty are junk mail; teach them early.
Room Care: Encourage daily bed-making and keeping their room organized, including toys and books.
Preteens (Ages 10-12): Stepping Up
Vacuuming Duties: Take on the responsibility of vacuuming a designated area weekly.
Laundry Learner: Begin learning how to use the washing machine with help, progressing to handling their laundry independently.
Kitchen Helper: Start preparing simple meals or snacks, such as sandwiches or salads, and assist in cleaning up.
Lawn Care: For the adventurous parent who wants a break, your 12-year-old or above could mow the lawn with your supervision, and I bet your child would love it, at least at first.
The Art of Balance: Adjusting as You Go
The trick to assigning the right amount of chores is balance. Start with one or two chores daily for the younger ones, gradually increasing the number and complexity with age. Remember to consider their entire schedule—balancing school, homework, and relaxation is important.
Adjusting based on your child's feedback is essential. If they find tasks too challenging or easy, it's time to make some changes. Their contributions aim to instill a sense of pride and belonging, not stress or shame.
The Ultimate Goal: Life Skills Through Chores
Chores' ultimate purpose goes beyond maintaining an orderly home. They teach values like teamwork, responsibility, and independence, which are invaluable as children grow into adults. Your child will have to learn to do chores independently, so helping build the resolve to do this earlier rather than later will be something they will thank you for later.
Kimberley Arnett-DeSimone, a career pediatric occupational therapist in Huntersville, North Carolina, authored this post.
