How To Motivate Your Child

Tips That Will Help Children Find Motivation And Energy

Motivating children is a nuanced task beyond mere encouragement or the promise of rewards. It involves understanding their individual personalities, interests, and challenges. Parents are directly involved in shaping their children's intrinsic motivation, the inner drive that encourages them to pursue their interests and goals for their own satisfaction. This article delves into practical strategies parents can employ to get their children “into it,” whatever “it is.

Understanding Motivation

Motivation is often categorized into two types: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within the individual, driving them to do something for its own sake, for the pleasure and satisfaction derived from the activity itself. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, involves performing a task to earn a reward or avoid punishment. While both types are considerations, focusing on intrinsic motivation promises long-term engagement and success.

The Pillars of Support

1. Recognize Individual Interests: Consider what naturally interests your child. Providing opportunities to explore these areas can boost their intrinsic motivation. Support their curiosity and involvement in art, science, sports, or any other domain.

2. Set Realistic Expectations: Set challenging yet attainable expectations. Unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and decreased motivation. Help your child set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound goals (SMART).

3. Encourage Autonomy: Allowing children to make choices and have a say in their activities increases their sense of autonomy and motivation. Whether choosing what to wear, picking a hobby, or deciding on a project, autonomy supports the development of intrinsic motivation.

4. Praise Effort Over Ability: Focus on your child's effort in activities rather than their innate ability. This approach encourages a growth mindset, believing that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

5. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Help your child see mistakes not as failures but as chances to learn and improve. Discuss what went wrong, why it might have happened, and how it can be addressed.

6. Model Lifelong Learning: Demonstrate your commitment to learning and growth. Share your challenges and how you overcome them, showing that learning is a lifelong process.

Encouraging Positive Habits

1. Establish Routines: Consistent routines can help reduce resistance to tasks like homework, chores, or practice. A predictable structure provides security and reduces the mental load of transitioning between activities.

2. Break Tasks into Manageable Chunks: Large tasks can be overwhelming. Teach your child to break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. This strategy can make goals seem more achievable and reduce procrastination.

3. Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate achievements, no matter how small. This recognition can boost confidence and motivation. Use a visual progress tracker for younger children to make this more tangible.

Encouraging Social Connections

1. Peer Interactions: Encourage your child to engage in group activities that align with their interests. Peers can be a powerful source of motivation, providing both support and friendly competition.

2. Involve Mentors: Identify adults or older children who can serve as role models or mentors in your child’s area of interest. Mentors can offer guidance, encouragement, and insight that parents might be unable to provide.

Managing Screen Time and Distractions

1. Set Limits on Screen Time: While technology can be educational, excessive screen time can detract from other enriching activities. Establish clear rules for screen use and encourage engaging in various activities.

2. Create a Distraction-Free Environment: Ensure your child has a quiet, comfortable space for homework and studying, free from distractions like television and smartphones.

Encouraging Physical Activity and Downtime

1. Promote Physical Activity: Regular exercise benefits physical health and can improve concentration, mood, and overall motivation. Encourage your child to participate in physical activities they enjoy.

2. Value Downtime: Children need downtime to relax and recharge. Ensure a balance between scheduled activities and free time.

Communication and Support

1. Open Lines of Communication: Maintain an open dialogue about their interests, challenges, and feelings with your child. Listen actively without judgment and offer support and guidance when needed.

2. Seek External Support When Necessary: If you notice persistent issues with motivation that affect your child’s well-being or academic performance, consider seeking support from educators, counselors, or psychologists.

Is It Your Thing?

Motivating children is a multifaceted approach that requires patience, understanding, and consistent support from parents. However, consider your personal experiences with how you’ve been encouraged to do things in the past. Would those methods be applicable as advice for your child? How did you become interested in something that may have become a passion? Were you introduced slowly with baby steps to gradually comprehend the foundational aspect first? Were you reluctant to start, and why? Keep asking questions of yourself and those you trust to further investigate real-world examples when offering advice to your little ones.

Kimberley Arnett-DeSimone, a career pediatric occupational therapist in Huntersville, North Carolina, authored this post.